The Sign of Four

No, this isn’t Sherlock Holmes speaking. It’s just me again. Four has been on my mind today. The Emperor is IV and often is said to represent Aries. We just had that Super Moon, meaning a super-close full moon. My thanks to all those people who posted their photos on Facebook.  Here we had rain and clouds, so I had to use my imagination. But along with that Super Moon we had the vernal equinox, that day when night and day are even heralding the first day of spring and the first degree of Aries. I’m an Aries fan. It’s my sun sign. I like beginnings of things, along with the middles and ends.


Victorian Trade Card Tarot
(c) Copyright 2010 Marcia McCord


As one of my fours, The Emperor is the guy who makes decisions for the overall good of the empire. Not all of those decisions are popular but the Emperor is the one who makes them. Very recently I made a couple of decisions of my own. Two were to end a couple of affiliations that no longer worked for me. They were very personal decisions. They weren’t entirely popular with the people affected by them. But looking at my own long term stability, growth and happiness, they were right for me.

When I know a decision is not going to be easy, I really like the “Dear Abby” method of arriving at an answer. Dear Abby’s advice usually applies to people stuck in between the decision to leave or stay with a commitment, usually in discussing an abusive, once-romantic relationship. The question is, Are you better off with them or without them?

In both cases, I considered that question carefully. I wanted to make sure I was comfortable with the decision, like the Emperor taking care of the good of his empire first. But I also wanted to treat the topic with dignity as much as possible, including making sure in the process of the discussion that along with being clear and careful of others’ dignity I also preserved my own. I tend to sacrifice that. Maybe that’s part of The Hanged Man being part of my birth cards.

Since part of the lesson of the Emperor is that, when you implement something, like making a decision, you can’t always control everything about it, the “four” part of the Emperor talks about stability and that while a temporary ruckus might ensue from your decision, eventually stability and order and safety and balance are the goals. Sometimes the most important thing to remember is that your own personal empire has boundaries.

Boundaries are a funny thing. Some people view the stretch of territory beyond that boundary to be wilderness ready for annexation. They risk or ignore or perhaps just don’t care that on the other side of their empire is likely someone else’s empire or at least their patch of grass. Boundary issues, we call it.


Victorian Trade Card Tarot
(c) Copyright 2010 Marcia McCord


Sticking to your own boundaries can be seen in another four in the tarot, the 4 of Pentacles. Sometimes this is called the “miser” card but a little more broadly this can be thought of as the prudent use of resources. Not only does it talk about curbing that wild spending streak (Inner Child: Well, THAT’S no fun. Outer Me: We haven’t heard from YOU in a while), but it also talks about maintaining stability with what you truly control and not trying to go beyond those boundaries. So, while I might wish to assuage any hurt feelings caused by misunderstanding my decisions, ultimately the only person’s feelings I really control are my own.

I can still wish no one had been upset by my decisions or hurt by misunderstandings. But like the 4 of Pentacles, there’s a point where going beyond my own scope is not productive to me or to others. Sometimes you just have to sit tight and wait for people to adjust to the change. I owe them that, at least. It’s a sign of respect.



Victorian Trade Card Tarot
(c) Copyright 2010 Marcia McCord



I could actually make things worse if I spoke out further than my original statement. There’s a certain wisdom to the advice, “Don’t apologize. Don’t explain” especially if you have the urge to do it “pro-actively” when someone didn’t actually come to you for the apology or explanation. Sometimes, well meant good will can serve to make the conflict worse. So, another four pops up, the 4 of Swords. Give it a rest. That’s advice to yourself, of course. Saying that to someone else is likely to get neither of you any rest!

One of the two decisions was first very clear. The other party wanted to end the association and left a voicemail with clear instructions. I happened to save it just in case I was listening with too much emotion at the time. But in contemplating the decision and listening again, I had to agree. I was truly better without the association. And then it got confusing. They wanted a face-to-face discussion. I wasn’t sure what that would accomplish other than to make me feel worse than I already did. I agreed with them. We’re done.  But I don't need a meeting.  We're just done and I wish them well.


Victorian Trade Card Tarot
(c) Copyright 2010 Marcia McCord



And surprise, that made things worse instead of better. Since I’m so much more comfortable with new beginnings than endings, drawing out the conflict can even desensitize you to others’ feelings and it certainly does little to help them understand your own. So yet another four, the 4 of Cups, says, I’ll pass on the drama too. No, I didn’t need to meet. ‘Nuff said.

Strangely, with the parting of the ways in both situations, I felt oddly liberated. Sometimes it’s hard to know when you have a burden until you set it down for a while. Gee, that’s better! Breathe in the good air! The conflict that had been there a while was resolved for me by just letting go. No more trying to figure out a way to make it better without any real hope of it getting better. I love that Russian proverb: When the horse is dead, get off. Simple.



Victorian Trade Card Tarot
(c) Copyright 2010 Marcia McCord



Nope, I’m not going to go into the details of either situation. They were professional associations and not dear personal ones. They weren’t my main source of income, just connections that I had hoped would be mutually beneficial. That little bit of distance helps to make the change easier for me and I hope for them too. Instead, I’d rather turn my energy to something more productive, something worth my time, something with a future, something like the 4 of Wands.

I love the 4 of Wands. It is stability without stagnation. It is energy expended without being dissipated and wasted. I’m Aries; I’m a fire sign. The 4 of Wands is the 4 of Fire and it can be seen as that cozy hearth-fire that serves, warms without burning and welcomes others to thaw beside it. My own hearthfire has taken the form of creating a new tarot deck, something cozy and warm, the Tea Tarot. It soothes. It refreshes. It takes the sting out of the day. It brightens the mind and warms inside and out. It can be the groundwork for a new beginning, a solid foundation and energetic.  And I hope you will enjoy it!

Best wishes and calm, warm thoughts to all!

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Pre-orders for the Tea Tarot are available now. Want a sneak peek? Click on the link Tarot Decks in the upper right side in the information bar. Shall I pour?

Mama Said There’ll Be Days Like This

“Why does life suck?”

One of the teenagers in the high school art class to whom I was about to make a presentation made it known that this was her question of the day, maybe of the decade. She was at the back of the classroom and didn’t make eye contact. Her question got no rise out of her classmates. That did not really signify anything. Silence could mean agreement with her statement. It could also mean ennui. It’s quite possible that her classmates were tired of her observation, sensing a theme.

But it’s a common cry among her age group, so I went with it.

“Interestingly enough,” I pointed to the next slide in the show, “I anticipated your next question. This is the 4 of Cups which is sometimes called the apathy or boredom card.”

I went on to explain that at least one of Pamela Colman Smith’s invaluable contributions to the tarot world was her insightfully illustrated pip cards. So, instead of just four cups as in Marseilles-style decks or even our regular deck of playing cards with four hearts, Pamela or “Pixie” Smith showed the meaning of the cards in the minor arcana through her drawings. Here was our young hero, sitting beneath the tree with three cups in front of him and the Universe handing him yet a fourth cup. Mr. There’s-Nothing-To-Do-That’s-Any-FUN sits with his arms crossed and his legs crossed.

His stance is passive (seated) although he could be dressed for action. He’s perfectly capable of getting up and pursuing the cup or other delight of his choice. But, faced with a bounty of wonderful things before him, like the three cups at his feet, even when the Universe brings more opportunity or love or goodness or even intuition to him, he doesn’t even look. He’s too busy looking down and luxuriating in the moment of being in a foul mood.

The number four signifies stability that can drift over into being just plain stuck. Certainly, our pal in the 4 of Cups is stable. Nothing seems to be moving him from his spot under the tree. You could guess it might even be a sunny day, but he picked the shade. Doing nothing is a kind of stability and refusal to accept the positive can possibly seem lower risk. If you never hope, never take the chance to try, there’s the sense that you might lower your odds of getting hurt. But our guy doesn’t look too happy. So his non-involvement theory isn’t really working.

If you look at this card, you’ll see the sky is blue, the grass is green, the tree is tall and straight, the cups are upright and there’s a gift from out of the blue, well, ok, out of the grey, meaning uncertainty, of yet another cup. The only thing “wrong” in the picture is the guy under the tree who is pretty clearly saying, “No.”

I put “wrong” in quotes for a reason, though. Saying, “No,” isn’t always wrong. Sometimes, everything can look great but you just have a feeling about something and have to say no. Sometimes you can’t take even one more thing, even if it’s a good thing. Knowing your own limits and the fact that they change from time to time is a good thing. There are people who can’t say no. Our buddy in the 4 of Cups is the contrast to the clear spring day; he’s the one who isn’t bright and sunny.

My inner Muzak turned on while I was giving the talk to the high school class. My topic was actually the process of creating a work of art, in this case my tarot decks, and what I used to get from a foggy concept to produce a specific and tangible result. Sometimes the Muzak is helpful and the song playing in my head was suddenly The Shirelles’ 1963 hit, Mama Said.

The funny part about that songtrack was that I was also reminded of the story of the travelers on the road who asked an old person they met along the road what the people were like in the next town. The old person asked them, “What were the people like in the last town?” The travelers said, they were terrible and the old person said they would find the people in the next town much the same. Another set of travelers met the old person on the road and asked the same question about the people in the next town. Again the old person asked, “What were the people like in the last town?” This second set of travelers said they were kind and generous and funny and wonderful. The old person said they would find the people in the next town much the same.

So I smiled at the kid in the back of the classroom, realizing that I didn’t know her whole situation and may, upon complete, if unlikely revelation agree with her. But on the surface, I saw that she seemed healthy, pretty, well-dressed, allowed to study art in her teen years instead of having to work for a living to fend for her family, and attend a school that actually charges tuition and has an admissions policy rather than a “free” public school. I could see a few cups set in front of her. And yet she was beset by that bane of restless teen years, a sense of boredom, impatience and annoyance. She wanted the world to take her somewhere but hadn’t connected that she must get up from under the tree and head in the direction that was right for her, whatever that was. I had to give the kid a break, too, though. After all, not yet out of the comfortable nest, she was still in the process of learning what it means to be human. She can turn down the gifts given to her freely if they don’t fit. But it’s not life that “sucks” if she doesn’t then do something to pursue the things she truly loves. It won’t actually be life that sucks; she will just be stuck.

It doesn’t hurt to make your wishes known because like the travelers and the old person, you’re likely to get the energy you put out there. It’s pretty simple. If you’re grumpy, people will likely be grumpy with you. If you’re pleasant, they’ll likely be pleasant with you. And one of the biggest secrets of the universe, especially in teen-age angst, is that seriously, no one is thinking about you more than you are. They are all really worried about themselves. It’s part of the human condition.

Oh, sure, I can cite instances of life truly being awful to people. No one in Miss Nancy’s art class has been executed for saying life sucks. That does happen in other places. I wish it didn’t, but there you have it. And people can put on a completely “sunny day” exterior as a protection from thinking or feeling what is truly going on behind the scenes. We have a choice, in spite of the worst circumstances, to adopt gloom as part of our inner being or use our energies to make things better, even in just a small way.

Sooner or later the kid in the back of the classroom will realize that life will "suck" just as long as she lets it. And, because I wish her well even though I never met her before that day in her classroom, I hope it’s sooner.

Best wishes!